So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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