now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
