You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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