He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
