And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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