in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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