The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
