do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
