I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
