just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
