the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
