ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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