I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We need to rekindle our bromance
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize