he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
