My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
