They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
