Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude i'm inner monologue high
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
