i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
