so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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