He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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