I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
