you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
