I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
