found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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