guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
