I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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