The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My first STD was from a foam party
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
