my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
