That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
