just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this beer tastes like vomit already
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
