I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do nipples grow back?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
