Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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