hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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