Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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