i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
