she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
