Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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