just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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