i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
