We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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