is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
