i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
