nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
