So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
