It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
