it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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