I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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