One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
