I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
