Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
